So I don't have to kill a forest...

Everyone can just read my play here so that I don't have to print 14 copies...

Bad Play—1st Draft
The characters are on a bus in the afternoon. Genna and Chris are seated next to each other, with Genna at the window seat and Chris in the aisle. The bus stops, and the bus driver gets out and stands in line for ice cream.

FEMALE PASSENGER

Hey, what are you doing? We’ve got to be somewhere!

GENNA

(Mumbles) Shit, are you kidding me? I’m going to be so late.

People shuffle and groan. One person shoves Chris while he moves past, squishing him against Genna.

CHRIS

Sorry, sorry.
Genna looks uncomfortable.
What are you going to be late to?

GENNA

Me? What?

CHRIS

Are you going to the dentist or something?

GENNA

Um… (looks away, clearly unnerved)

CHRIS

OK….
Chris gets elbowed by another passenger.
Ow! Shit.
Shifts and squishes Genna more.
Sorry.

GENNA

(Mumbles) It’s ok.

CHRIS

It’s like four—(consults watch)—thirty-seven. Who’s in a rush at 4:37 in the afternoon?
Genna takes out her phone and fiddles with it.

CHRIS

Hey, is that the iPhone? I’ve got the Droid. (Imitates Droid voice) Droid. Droid. Droid—

GENNA

I don’t know you!

CHRIS

Uh, I guess not.

GENNA

So I’m a little uncomfortable right now. I don’t really want to talk to you because I don’t know you and I would like you to leave me alone please.

CHRIS

Oh, I’m sorry, really… Am I just being really annoying?

GENNA

No! (Visibly irritated) It’s just that, I don’t know, you’re a stranger and honestly it’s a little weird that you keep talking to me. I am a girl. You can’t do that.

CHRIS

I’m not, like, a rapist!
Nearby passengers give him weird looks.

GENNA

I didn’t say you were a rapist, I’m sorry…

CHRIS

What the fuck.
Driver can be seen leaving ice cream parlor and going to gardening store next door. Collective sighs and sounds of malcontent can be heard from the passengers. Genna stands up.

GENNA

Let’s get him fired!

CHRIS

How the hell are you going to get wherever you’re going if there’s no bus driver?

GENNA

(To Chris) Shut up. (To other passengers, who have all gone silent) This guy walked out on us!

PASSENGERS

Yeah! Right on!

GENNA

Are we going to stand for this?

PASSENGERS

No way! (Cheering)

GENNA

I will drive this bus! Screw my dentist appointment!
Genna plops down to retrieve her bag, then tries to get out of the seat. There is an awkward attempt by Genna to get out of her seat and into the aisle, past Chris. The passengers are all watching her eagerly as she slowly pushes her way past Chris and into the aisle. Just as she gets out of the booth, the bus driver reenters the bus, cup of ice cream in hand, and spade in the other.

MALE PASSENGER

Thank God he’s back!
The bus driver starts driving. Genna
is still standing, but no one is paying
attention to her anymore, and everyone has gone back to what they were doing: reading, listening to music, etc., like nothing happened.

GENNA

This is ridiculous!

CHRIS

Your mom's ridiculous.

GENNA

Hey! You’re just some creep who started talking to me on the bus. Who starts talking to random strangers on a bus? Random female strangers? How sketchy can you be?

CHRIS

I was just trying to be funny!

GENNA

Well you weren’t.

CHRIS

You’re right, potential rapists don’t have a sense of humor.